January 1st, 2012

So it is the start of a new year, a new beginning according to those who are in charge of our calanders. I usually spend New Years Day watching the Lord of the Rings Trilogy but this year that is not going to happen. My friend Shirley TwoFeathers and I usually watch and try to decipher who we have been in the previous year and who we would like to be in the year to come. For the last few years I have been Sam, helping my Frodo on his journey to Mount Doom, and it would appear that is my role again for at least a while this year. As some of you are aware my partner of twenty three years is dying from complications of what we thought was early on set Alzheimers but we found out is really lewy body dementia, a much faster acting form of dementia. So his Mt. Doom is death and I am trying to do the best job I can to help him on his journey to that end. I don't mind being Sam I think Sam is a very admirable character in the movie/book. Without him Frodo would not have made it to Morodor and Mt. Doom. But like Sam I am tired, physically, mentally and spiritually tired and I am ready to go home. What ever that means at this point.  Gary is very near the end of his journey and I am ready for his suffering to end. Which leads me to who I want to be once my quest with Frodo/Gary is at it's end. I'm thinking I want to be more like Elrond. He is magickal but he is human. He has fought and suffered and lived to go home again. He knows what needs to be done and he does it regardless of how much it hurts. He also knows down to his core who he is, which is something I really need to learn. Who am I?  My world, so to speak, will have changed in a major way. I will be rebuilding a life from what little is left. I need the courage, the strength and the magick to go on. One of my first steps is to breath some life into this blog, to use it as a sounding board, a place to store ideas, a place to expand and grow. Hope you will join me on this quest and occasionally even give me some of your sage advice. May the God/dess bless all of you on your individual quests of discovery in this new year. So Mote it Be.